Spring Break 2007

Time to waste is a rare commodity in the US of A, and its cost, in terms material and subsequently emotional, is usually deterrent. But came the spring break, and some friends and I decided to blow up some cash and drive around the endless American freeway. So set out we did in a rented Chrysler Sebring for a drive towards San Antonio. For someone who doesn't own a car, is eager to get one without spending the money required to get something better than a lemon (maybe an orange...OK pathetic humor), and is used to riding in hatchback Civics and torn down Camry's, a Sebring with just seven thousand miles on it was the epitome of luxury. So, as the drive began, I was hungry for the road, and I wished it just wouldn't stop coming. And I wasn't disappointed.

But soon, the monotony of the highway got to me and I began to wish that we would get somewhere. Also, I needed to use the restroom, and the copious amounts of liquid that I had consumed wasn't helping. And then, we saw an exit to a town, but we couldn't change lanes to take the exit because there was someone driving at a distance that prevented the changing of lanes and traffic in general prevented speeding up. We drove on, another twenty miles or so, and by this time I was sufficiently edgy. Luckily for me, this time, we managed to make the exit we spotted.

We landed in a town called Columbus, built around a large MacDonald's and Jack in the Box and a small HEB. Apart from that, the main feature of the town was the pervading smell of horse shit, though I am not too sure if the distinction went to horses because we didn't actually see any. Honestly speaking, i think it was them because we did have a small debate over the ownership of the invisible excreta and we concurred on horses. The debate occurred over fried beef burgers and fries with a gallon of coke with free refills (which we realised was their standard meal). Of course, the Tall One had to eat just the fries because he was vegetarian, and so as compensation, we went to HEB to stock up what he loves most: Shiner Hefenweizen. On our way back to the car, we concurred again that it was indeed horses and having done that, set out on the second leg of the drive towards San Antonio.

I don't remember if we stopped anywhere on the way to San Antonio, or if anything interesting happened. We reached our destination a few hours later and decided to eat at their River-Walk. However, as we later realised, for all of San Antonio's night life, the eating joints shut early and the only affordable place that we could eat at, at the time we reached, was Dominoes. Imagine driving two hundred and fifty miles to eat at Dominoes. But we did, and then agreed that a late night movie was the best way to spend the remainder of the night. We drove around looking for a place that was open, and we suddenly hit an intersection where everyone was honking at everyone else. It took us a few minutes to realise that the subject of all the honking was a particular blue pickup truck which contained a few women who had some kind of allergy to fabric. This cynosure wasn't part of the itinerary, and since we had spent a great deal of effort making one, we decided to stick to it. So we drove on in search of a place that was open for all of the night. An hour later, we were still driving around. What we did accomplish in that one hour was the creation of a new plan. We were now going to park at the first parking we got and explore San Antonio on foot.

While we were walking around, the Tall One and his former roommate tried asking the other pedestrian traffic a little about the town. The Complex Geometer went first and met with no success; the guy he accosted just pushed past and walked on. The Tall One then offered to use his charms; a few minutes later he spotted his first prey. She was sitting outside a pub, solitary, looking somewhat pensive. The Tall One stole up to her and said, "Excuse me." In the ten seconds that followed, the damsel turned around, looked into the accoster's eyes, got floored, fell over a neighbouring fence, straightened herself and the displaced fence and stared at him with such complete stupefaction that it would have done the followers of Moses justice when they saw the sea part at his command. She, though, was witness to lesser miracles, and my guess is that she had partaken too generously the Blood of Christ. By the time she stood up to answer the Tall One, who too was enraptured by her beauty and lack of co-ordination, his not-so-attractive friends, namely us, had caught up. One glance at us and she decided that we probably weren't worth it. She sent us off to the nearest theater that was shut and without so much of a glance at the Tall One, managed to regain her seat without losing her balance.

The rest of San Antonio was boring, and the Tall One was engrossed in thoughts about the possibilities lost because he had such ugly friends. His friends though, didn't really care, for all that they could think of at four a.m. was coffee to keep them awake. So we did the usual, found an all night coffee place, drank the coffee, talked some junk-philosophy, drank some juice, talked some more, paid the tab and walked back twenty blocks to where we were parked. We were now en-route to the next destination: the Shiner town. (I might mention that in between all of this we drove across town because I wanted to use the restroom, but that detail makes a trivial aside to the story.)


On the way to Shiner, we crossed a bird sanctuary, and since we figured that it was too early for the factory to be open, we decided to spend some time there. As we went into the welcome office, we were told that Shiner would be shut, the day being Sunday, and that called for yet another session of planning. We were now going to Corpus Christi.

Another seemingly endless session on the freeway brought us to Corpus Christi, where, because I am getting bored of writing this narrative and am inclined to speed it up, we saw a WW-II aircraft carrier: the Lexington, played around on the beach, got lost in search for a restaurant, and, in yet another change of plans, decided to head towards Houston. I fell victim to the freeway hypnosis almost immediately after we left Corpus Christi. A brief period of consciousness ensued when we stopped at a Mexican restaurant somewhere in the middle of nowhere, though, soon after we drove out of there, I lost myself in dreamland again. I woke up for a brief while in between to the screams of the Tall One and the Complex Geometer arguing over simple division. Houston had already engulfed us by the time I woke up next.

As I climbed up the steps to my apartment at one in the morning of Monday, I paused briefly before I reached the door. Inside lay the world symbolic of the quotidian that one is forced to inure oneself to. I don't think the pause was even momentary, but somehow, in my semi-delirious state induced by sleep, that was my way of bidding farewell to the past 48 hours. I then walked in and headed straight to bed. When I woke up late next afternoon, I was still on vacation for the next five days. My spring break was over.